Tips on how to keep a HEALTHY Long Distance Relationship
Before my husband got married in 2018, we were in a long-distance relationship. I was in the US, and he stayed back home in the Philippines. It was difficult, it took a lot of work and effort, and here we are together, married for 2 yrs., enjoying time with our 14-month daughter.
What kept our relationship healthy, you might ask?
Sharing 18 of the things I know worked during the times that we are in a long-distance relationship:
1.) DISCUSS EXPECTATIONS
Ahh, the golden rule!
Discuss your commitment level, are you exclusive, are you allowed to date?
Make sure both agree and that both are on the same expectation level.
2.) SEE THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY
Keep in mind, If you want to live together, then first learn to live apart.
3.) AVOID EXCESSIVE COMMUNICATION
Less is more, stick at the right moment and tugging on the right spots.Try to communicate regularly, and creatively
4.) COMMUNICATE REGULARLY AND CREATIVELY
We send Good Morning and Good Nights, this is such an important moment for us to let each other know what we think of them as soon as we wake up, and before going to bed.
We send video clips of some highlights of the day - yes, I love sending him wild turkeys crossing the street, this is something he can look forward to when he visits me here!
5.) KEEP THE FLAMES BURNING
HINT: Sexy puns. 'nuff said.
6.) AVOID SITUATIONS WHERE YOU MIGHT LOSE YOUR PARTNER'S TRUST
It's not bad to party, but provide details ahead of time, follow the time you said you'll be home, most importantly - DON'T GO HOME DRUNK AF.
Remember your partner worries too! you don't want to be in the same situation, right?
Respect is the best way to show love, show it by not just listening to your heart, but your mind too!
7.) DO THINGS TOGETHER (VIRTUALLY)
Thank you, technology! It's easier for us to do things "together"
We love when we facetime each other while eating our meals, normally his dinner, my breakfast.
8.) DO SIMILAR THINGS
Have the same book to read and discuss a review about it
We love Marvel movies, which obviously we can't watch together, so we wait when both have already watched it and review or discuss the movie.
9.) MAKE TIME AND RESOURCE TO PHYSICALLY SEE EACH OTHER
The highlight of your LDR!
My partner makes sure he goes off from work during the duration I'm in town
The best vacation I had was in 2017 when he proposed!!!!
10.) KNOW EACH OTHER'S SCHEDULE
This will help you understand when your partner can't answer your call/text.
Understand if your partner is at work or at school - obviously, they also have other things going on in their life more than you!
11.) ENJOY YOUR ALONE TIME
You don't have to let your world revolve around your partner - you still have friends, family, and most importantly YOU!
My partner and I both expanded our circle of friends when we were apart, and it's cool to meet each other's newfound friends - it's like we found each other a new set of friends!
12.) KEEP IT HONEST
To maintain the emotional connection between you two - NEVER, NEVER keep a secret from your partner.
Discuss difficult conversations with your partner - Have you fallen out of love? Do you feel disconnected from your partner?
Keep the lines open!
13.) STALK EACH OTHER'S SOCIAL MEDIA
Like, Comment, Tag or even Share posts of your partner.
14.) SEND PHYSICAL GIFTS
Nothing is sweeter than receiving a gift from your partner, and nothing is sweeter than to think your partner has spent time, energy, and resource on that gift.
15.) DECIDE ON A RELIABLE AND SUSTAINABLE METHOD OF COMMUNICATION
IMessage, FB Messenger, LINE - whatever floats your boat!
My partner made sure he'll always online even on the go, so he purchased pocket wifi!
16.) TREAT YOUR PARTNER AS A CONFIDANT, NOT JUST AN ONLINE DATE
I love discussing hard days at work with my partner, I value his opinion and I love to feel supported by him.
17.) VIDEO CALL WHEN POSSIBLE
Need I to explain this? LOL!
18.) KEEP EACH OTHER UPDATED ON EACH OTHER'S FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Because there is no better topic than good gossip from time to time!
But then again, always remember that relationships take time and effort to make it work. Distance is just something, not the only thing.
Happy Valentine's Day!